Masochism and the self
Abstract
Masochism is one of psychology’s greatest puzzles. Masochistic actions and pleasures fly in the face of common sense. Sexual masochists desire physical pain, bodily restraint, and humiliating or embarrassing treatment. They want their sexual partners to tie them up, blindfold them, and spank or whip them. They ask to be insulted, displayed naked to strangers, kept on leashes like animals, or dressed in humiliating costumes. They desire to be forced to kiss their partner’s feet, to be subjected to various rules such as never looking their partner in the eye, and to other indignities. Not only do they desire such things, but they apparently derive great satisfaction and even sexual pleasure from them. For most people, pain or embarrassment brings an instant end to sexual pleasure, yet for masochists these things stimulate it. For some masochists, these activities become almost indispensable to sexual enjoyment. How could someone enjoy pain? Pain is the opposite of pleasure. Unpleasantness is the very essence of the sensation of pain. Yet masochists desire pain. One way of understanding masochism has been the simple assumption that these people are mentally ill. In Western society, there is a long tradition of dismissing things that seem to make no sense as being produced by irrational forces. Some have argued that mental illness has replaced demons as an omnibus explanation for deviant behavior. The attitude behind these labels is, “We don’t need to understand these things, for they are incomprehensible.” Masochists and other deviants are simply exempted from all principles of normal human psychology, as if one should not even expect them to make sense.